Unnecessary Stressors
Many of the stressors we experience are self-imposed, and I’ve been thinking a lot about those lately and how I might get rid of some of them in my life. Below are some examples.
Over-Scheduling
I am guilty of this one. When you figure in all the medical appointments—doctors, PT, treatments, etc.—it’s a lot. I sometimes think I can handle more than I can. Standing appointments are easy to overlook when saying when you can commit to a stand-alone meet-up. I am also not very good at planning any travel time. I have gotten so I put the travel time right before and after the appointment so I don’t need one of those “beam me up Scotty” things to get from one to another on time. Our culture seems to equate busy-ness with success, which leaves us little time for rest and reflection. I will start putting time for myself directly on my calendar so I don’t end up with no time left for me.
Online Presence/Commitments
The other day, I had my phone count the hours I used social media per week. I was shocked! I decided to pare down my choices of networks to only Facebook and deleted the others. A day goes fast enough, so I want to avoid spending most of it looking at my phone. Engaging in gossip is another online risk. Some things you read online are false and harmful, so I don’t pass them on and don’t contribute to the groupspeak. I avoid conflicts that don’t improve my well-being or a valued relationship.
Keeping up with the Joneses
It amazes me how many older couples in our valley built huge homes on the hillside with swimming pools and tennis courts, lived in 3 rooms, and spent all their time caring for the place. I prefer the downsizing we did, as I don’t want all that work, even if I could still do it. Having a big house isn’t always a case of keeping up with the Joneses, but sometimes it can be. Constantly comparing ourselves to others creates stress. It is said that comparison is the thief of joy. Not only does it steal joy, it adds stress. The more time we spend comparing, the less OK we feel about ourselves.
Fear of Being Left Out
It is easy to think we should engage in everything offered since there is constant pressure to know everything, to be interesting, and to keep busy. But this is very unhealthy. Not only are these thoughts negative on their own, but they can drive you to overbook yourself or spend time on activities or friendships that stress you rather than feed you. I have deleted several regular things I used to do because I thought I should.
Unhealthy Habits
Atomic Habits by James Clear is a great book to help you change bad habits to good ones. The broad outline of his method is here:
To Start a Good Habit, make it:
obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying
To Stop a Bad Habit, make it:
invisible, unattractive, difficult, unsatisfying
Understanding that many of the stressors in our lives are things we can control can be quite liberating. It takes some self-assessment and effort to reframe things, but we can make improvements if we focus most of our energy in life on the things that we enjoy the most, that give us joy, and that refill our tanks. Not all things are within our control, but thinking about those that are can really make a difference.
“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
We have a bookshop store HERE where you can find books Linda has read, or that look helpful for folks dealing with chronic diseases of various kinds. You may see links to those books in the text of our blog posts. We get a small financial reward if you purchase a book through the shop, but the price is the same. It also helps support independent booksellers. Thanks!
This blog post is based on personal experiences and is not meant to provide medical advice.
Always consult your healthcare professional for personalized guidance on your health journey.
